So Bill O'Reilly has once again shamed his Irish name by using his overblown sensationalistic views about Christmas to ironically grasp for holiday book sales.
He is storming around in the media claiming that the more respectful and culturally inclusive"Happy Holidays" promotes the (secular progressive) Liberal's "Anti Christian agenda of "Narcotics, Euthanasia, Homosexuality, and Abortion.
Wow! Really Bill! Really?
What a disappointing Christmas for the Liberal children....
"Mommy? Am I just really wasted this morning or did Santa bring me another dead, gay baby? Why can't we spend Christmas at the O'Reilly's this year? There Christmas is more fun! They get drunk and make inappropriate advances toward their staff until Mr. O'Reilly yells viciously at everyone and makes them leave." Then they get together around the enormous, un-reforested, christmas tree and have a Tea Party."
"I don't want my christmas to be SUSTAINABLE. I want it to be SENSATIONAL."
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Killing xmas!!!!
No comedy last night in Los Angeles. I mean to say there was no comedy for me. I am sure that plenty of people were cracking jokes for money or love but I only made toddlers laugh.
I enjoy making toddlers laugh but I also recognize that one needs less talent and more cardio for such an endeavor.
So here I have been every evening jumping about in puddles and changing diapers and making meals that everyone thinks are "yucky!"
So how did I do last night... I'm killing! Killing for Christmas.
Happy Holidays enjoy the mudslides!
Collin
Xmas 2010
I enjoy making toddlers laugh but I also recognize that one needs less talent and more cardio for such an endeavor.
So here I have been every evening jumping about in puddles and changing diapers and making meals that everyone thinks are "yucky!"
So how did I do last night... I'm killing! Killing for Christmas.
Happy Holidays enjoy the mudslides!
Collin
Xmas 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
A Normal Life
Tues night I went to Hollywood because Bryan Swinehardt said that He would love to have me on because it was an anniversay party for the room. 5 years. I was 20th... or actually 22nd if you count Tom Green and Kato Kalin. You heard me KATO KALIN.
My friends Marc Ryan and Jeorjeana Maria came with me and also went up late. The crowd was big and hot... until just before we went up. Then it was small and not hot.
I enjoyed working new material but can anyone tell me why I stick around for three hours sitting crossedlegged, eating trail mix in the back of a bar on the off chance that the crowd is going to some how be better when I get up...
The answer? Because there is no one who can tell you how to do this. You think maybe you are going to suddenly discover the magical combination of waiting and performing for each day of the week in each city and then you will be able to create the perfect set and everyone will go AHAA! He's got it figured out!
Here's your ten thousand dollars. Now you can pay off the IRS and have a normal life. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
My friends Marc Ryan and Jeorjeana Maria came with me and also went up late. The crowd was big and hot... until just before we went up. Then it was small and not hot.
I enjoyed working new material but can anyone tell me why I stick around for three hours sitting crossedlegged, eating trail mix in the back of a bar on the off chance that the crowd is going to some how be better when I get up...
The answer? Because there is no one who can tell you how to do this. You think maybe you are going to suddenly discover the magical combination of waiting and performing for each day of the week in each city and then you will be able to create the perfect set and everyone will go AHAA! He's got it figured out!
Here's your ten thousand dollars. Now you can pay off the IRS and have a normal life. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
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