Contrary to impending train wreck of a desert casino town jamming a comedy show in between nickel slots, I really had fun on stage and these people came to hear comedy in whatever form it took.
Show 7pm. Arrived at the hotel at 6pm. Park, check-in, wait for bellman, dress, find showroom. 6:40pm. A quick talk to the entertainment director told me that the rules of the itinerary were, as always, were written as more of a guideline to be ignored completely unless you wanted the crowd to think you were from another planet. Exact words... "I'll light you at 45 and then again at 55 minutes and you can go as long as you want I don't care really. Oh and just don't say "Fuck" all the time. And no ass fucking jokes. I did 1 hour and 20 minutes and said Fuck maybe 10 times(No ass fucking jokes). He lit me at 55 and then again at 1 hour and 5 minutes. I was elated at how well the crowd received EVERYTHING. I was able to play and create and so was my very funny opener Laura Park. I worked out one very difficult new bit about my kids and just felt great. I left the stage thinking. Wow! bet the club's going to be so happy! That was definitely top level shit!
Before the show I talked a little more to Andy, the Entertainment Director and got back story on no comps at the bar. Apparently some stupid ass comic "...got really drunk and refuse to come off stage." Now we all get to pay for his sins.
Why do comics do that shit? This is a job like any other. I wish comedians held themselves to a higher standard.
Enter the typical road bullshit. I bought 1 beer for Laura and 1 beer for me before the show. NO COMP. $10.50. Fine whatever.
As I am running from the stage to my merchandise table, post show, I am told that I have to handle my tab RIGHT NOW! Fine whatever.
I get to my Merch table in time to catch the last half of the immediate exodus. 1 shirt sold. Fine whatever.
That was when HE (A - Hole) came up to me. His name tag told me that he was the Lighting and Sound Coordinator.
A-hole - "I didn't see the whole show but did you not see Andy giving you the light?"
Me- "Hi. I'm Collin. Yeah but he had said that he was going to give me a 45 minute and then a 55 minute light and that I could do as much time as I wanted."
A-Hole - "Oh no no no. We have to turn this room over for the dance club at 10:30. WHERE'S THE DJ?"
Andy - "He's here, set up."
A -Hole "Oh. Well any way, you can go a little over but definitely not 35 minutes over."
Me (STUPID ME) - " Andy said I could go as long as I wanted."
Andy - NOTHING
A - Hole "You do 45 minutes and maybe another 5 if you want."
LAST STRAW
Me (ANGRY ME) "Well that's not the information I got!"
A-Hole "Sorry you got the wrong information..."
Me (POWERLESS ME) "Fine. Whatever!"
That's when it hit me. In the eyes of everyone there, I was the guy that Andy told me about.
I had a beer on stage. So probably perceived to be drunk and misinformed about the stage time allowed so not coming off stage... Drunk and refusing to come off stage!
Why do comics do that shit? This is a job like any other. I wish comedians held themselves to a higher standard!
I got angrier as I read this blog. I hate that guy!
ReplyDeleteI wont say any names or locations but I had been doing right around an hour all week at this club. Sat night late show comes around and I did an hour and ten mins, crowd was super fun, i was doing stories Ive never told on stage before such a great open minded crowd... they light me, whatever, light me again, whatever, light me a third time i wrap it up.. after the show i go to my merch table and the mang lady starts reading me my rights..
ReplyDeleteher:"You were told to do 45mins."
me playing dumb:"Oh, sorry how long was I up there?"
her:"You did 25mins over!"
me:"Im sorry, I didnt realize it, they were so much fun."
her super angery:"I dont care, you were told to do 45 thats what you do."
In the midst of getting yelled at like a highschooler without a hall pass im shaking hands with people saying things like "oh my god that was so much fun." " greatest show we've seen here." So it was kind of hard to "Learn my lesson" when the only person upset was the mang.. tough call.. do i feel bad and not take opportunities with great crowds like that in the future or do i say fuck it and do what i want and ruin it for the next guy.
Michael Malone